


Risking it All

by sassybellamyblake



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, Confessions, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Love, Post Season 3, Rover Rides
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-07-12 02:10:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7080382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassybellamyblake/pseuds/sassybellamyblake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been three months since the defeat of ALIE and Skaikru has stopped every power plant but one. They saved the hardest one for last. They made a plan that was sure to work, but someone is most likely going to die. Bellamy Blake offers to be the one to go on this dangerous mission, but you best believe Clarke Griffin has something to say about his stupidity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Risking it All

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I started this story without knowing where it was going, but I honestly love how it turned out. As always, comments and critiques are always welcome.
> 
> P.s. I am not an expert on nuclear power plants, so disregard my dodgy science and explanations.

"Bellamy, don’t do this." Clarke was begging him with everything she had left. "You don’t have to do this alone."

"Enough, Clarke. I told you, I’m not letting you risk your life again. Not this time"

Clarke was shaking with fear and anger. How could he do this to her? After everything they had been through, how could he leave her like this?

"Bellamy, this isn’t up for debate. Either we do this _together_ or not at all."

Together. Clarke knew what she was doing when she said that word. She knew that it has such a significant meaning to both of them. She feels a pang of guilt hit her hard in the stomach, she knows how to change Bellamy’s mind with a single word and she uses it to get her way. Even though she feels guilty for using their sacred word, she also knows that she isn’t letting him do this, at least not alone.

"Clarke, for the last time, you are not going with me."

"Bell-"

"No. It’s not happening. I don’t care what you say. I’m not letting you die."

Now Clarke is in a full on rage.

"What, you think I’m willing to let you die? Are you really that stupid?"

"It’s our only option."

"We’ll find another way. We have to. I can’t lose you, Bellamy. I couldn’t live in world without you, I don’t _want_ to live in a world without you."

Bellamy’s breath catches at her words. He knows she is willing to say whatever is needed for him to change his mind, but it doesn’t change the fact that she is saying what Bellamy has been waiting to hear for as long as he can remember. Clarke is finally telling him that she doesn’t want a life without him, and that makes his heart ache more than he knew was possible.

"Clark-"

Bellamy doesn’t know what he is going to say, but it doesn’t matter because he never gets the chance. Before he can even finish her name, Clarke wraps her arms around his neck, squeezing him so hard he can barely breath. Even though he was startled by her movements, Bellamy immediately wraps his arms around her waist, places his head in the crease of her neck, soaking in all of her that he can.

Clarke likes to play dirty. She knows all of Bellamy’s weakness, the biggest being herself. She knows that Bellamy is close to his breaking point, that she can change his mind if she pushes just a little more. She wants to continue fighting his plan, but she also wants to stay wrapped in his arms, feeling his warmth, for as long as possible. She’s hugged him so many times, but she’s still surprised at how amazing his hugs are, how she loses herself when she’s tangled up in him.

Neither one of the are willing to let the other go. They don’t release their grip until Miller and Raven barge in the room. Raven and Miller both give them a shy smile, trying to apologize for ruining their moment. Raven is the first to break the awkward silence.

"We need to know if our plan is-"

Clarke doesn’t even let her finish. "No. Bellamy’s not doing this. We’re not doing this. We are not going to send one of our own on a suicide mission."

Bellamy is standing behind Clarke, so she doesn’t see that he nods to Raven, letting her know that he is, in fact, going through with their plan.

Raven, being satisfied with the nod, tries to diffuse the ticking time bomb that is Clarke Griffin. "Ok. We’ll think of something else then."

Bellamy smiles at Raven, thanking her for not telling Clarke the truth. He hates lying, but he also knows that it is better in this situation. If Clarke knew that he was going to go without her, she would do everything her power to stop him. Don’t get me wrong, he loves that Clarke hugs him and admits her feelings in attempt to change his mind, but he also knows there is no other option this time. The plan they made is the only one that is sure to work, and Bellamy is willing to do whatever it takes to save his people. Even if it means dying.

Later that night, Bellamy meets with Raven, Miller, and Kane to finalize their plans.

"I want to go tomorrow."

The group looks at Bellamy with shocked and confused faces. Kane, after letting Bellamy’s statement sink in, speaks up.

"Bellamy, we have more time. You don’t need to go tomorrow."

Raven decides to add, "Yeah, Bellamy, there’s no rush here."

"Bell, take time to think about this", Miller says.

Bellamy, with a blank expression and emotionless voice, says, "I have thought about it. I know there’s time, but if this doesn’t work I want you guys to have more time find another way. And it’s easier this way. The less time I have to lie to everyone, to Clarke, the better."

They know he is right, but it doesn’t change the fact that this was going to be extremely hard. The group knows they are sending him to his probable death. They all understand that Clarke is going to be devastated if he, when he, doesn’t come back. The chance of Bellamy surviving is less than 5 percent, making this plan that much harder to swallow.

The next morning, Bellamy is ready to go at the crack of dawn. He thinks that no one else is awake during this ungodly hour. He is wrong.

"Bellamy, what the hell is this?"

Clarke is standing in front of the rover, holding his bag of supplies.

"Clarke, don’t. Not now. Just let me go."

"Are you fucking serious right now? You can’t be serious. Bellamy, what is wrong with you? Do you really want to die this much?" Clarke flinches at her own words. She knows she has crossed a line.

"Oh, really? Are you really gonna lecture me on _this_? How many times have you done the same damn thing, Clarke? How many times have you risked your life, knowing you could possibly die?"

"This is different, Bellamy, and you know that. The risk is too high this time. The chances of you surviving are slim to none."

"This isn’t any different. We risk our lives all the time, not knowing how it’s going to turn out, not knowing our chances of survival. But we do it anyway. We take the risk, it’s what we do."

Clarke doesn’t know how to respond. She’s so hurt right now she can barely breath. The pain that was in her chest has spread to her entire body, making it hard to talk. She can feel the tears start to form, making her voice unbelievably shaky.

"Were you even going to say goodbye?"

Bellamy feels the tears start to swell behind his eyes, burning to be released. He knows that she knows the answer, so he doesn’t feel the need to respond. He just looks at her, hoping she forgives him before he leaves. He doesn’t want this to be their last interaction, it can’t be.

Clarke just stands there, staring at her best friend. She is so mad at him, but she knows there’s no stopping him.

"I’m going with you."

"Clarke, don’t start with this again. It’s not an opt-"

"Shut up."

Bellamy can’t help but smile. He loves how feisty she can be. He takes a minute to consider his options.

"Clarke, _if_ , if I let you come, you can’t go in with me. You’ll have to say goodbye and let me go on my own. Can you handle that?"

Clarke swallows hard, biting back the urge to fight him.

"Yes, I can. But you have to promise me something."

"What?"

"You have to promise that you’ll fight like hell to stay alive. Promise me."

"I promise."

Clarke jumps in the passenger seat of the rover. Bellamy, reluctantly gets in and fills her in on what’s going to happen.

"Kane, Raven, and Miller are going to leave about a half hour after us, giving me time to get there and prepare myself, ya know, alone."

Clarke scoffs at his statement. "Well, I guess your going to have to prepare with company now."

Bellamy rolls his eyes and starts the engine of the rover. How can this girl be so important to him, yet drive him crazy at the same time? He is annoyed that Clarke got her way, like always, but he is also glad that he gets to spend more time with her.

The drive to the last remaining power plant is only a couple hours long. Bellamy can’t help but look over at Clarke every chance he gets. He never thought the girl he met at the dropship on the first day, the obnoxious know-it-all that fought him at every turn, would mean so much to him now. He loves Clarke, more than she’ll ever know. He loves that she can make him strong, but also so vulnerable. Bellamy has such a hard time letting people in, so he wasn’t expecting it when she crashed through the extremely thick walls he built.

The closer they get to the power plant, the bigger the knot in Clarke’s stomach grows. At this point, she needs all of Bellamy she can get. She scoots closer to him, grabbing his hand and lacing her fingers in between his. The last time they held hands was when Clarke was taking the flame. She remembers how scared she was, how she only wanted Bellamy in this moment. She has that same feeling now.

They have been silent for most of the car ride, so when Bellamy goes to talk his voice cracks, making them both give a slight laugh. He clears his throat, preparing himself for this conversation.

"Clarke, I need to tell you something."

Clarke goes to open her mouth to reply, but Bellamy quickly spits out his confession.

"I’m in love with you."

Clarke’s heart skips a beat.

"Wh-what?"

"Shit. I didn’t want to tell you like this. This is probably the worst possible time, but I had to say it. I’m in love with you."

Bellamy doesn’t have the courage to fully look at her, so he just side-eyes her. Clarke has gone pale and looks like she is going to pass out.

"Fuck, Clarke, are you ok?"

"Stop the car."

Now Bellamy fully looks at her. She has the same pale color, but she seems more coherent.

"What?"

"I said stop the fucking car."

Bellamy hesitates for a minute, then slowly brings the rover to a stop. He doesn’t look at her. He keeps his head forward, nervous to see the expression on her face.

"Sorry I shouldn’t of said that."

"Bellamy, look at me."

He turns his head and sees that she has tears streaming down her face. He hates to see her cry. He looks down at the space that’s now in between them.

"Oh god, Clarke, I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry. I’m an such a idiot. I-"

"Bellamy, shut up. I’m in love with you, too."

Bellamy looks up, meeting her beautiful blue eyes. He can tell that she meant it, that she wasn’t just saying it because he was going to die soon. But he still wanted to make sure.

"You do?"

"Of course I do, you dumb ass."

They both let out a laugh, not a puff of air or a giggle, but a real laugh. Its been so long since they have both laughed, they’ve forgotten how good laughing can feel.

They just stare at each other for a few moments, not knowing what to do next.

Clarke’s had enough staring at Bellamy. She scoots back to where she was before, leaving no space between them.

"Kiss me."

"Clarke, I don’t think this is a good idea."

"Like hell it isn’t. Kiss me."

"I can’t kiss you and then leave. It’s not fair to you."

Bellamy smirks, making Clarke roll her eyes and smile at the same time.

"Then don’t leave."

Clarke knew Bellamy was trying to make light of the situation, but she was too scared of losing him to not be serious.

"I have to. I couldn’t live with myself knowing there is a way to save everyone, to save Octavia, to save _you_."

"We’ll figure out another way. We always do."

"What if we don’t? What if I do this and it doesn’t work? I have to give Kane and Raven time to find another plan if this doesn’t work."

"So then you would die for no reason?"

"It’s not without reason, Clarke. It’s the chance to give you and everyone else a better life."

"My life won’t be better, not if you’re not in it."

Bellamy closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Since his eyes were already closed, Clarke decides to take the opportunity. She grabs his face and kisses him. Its almost like he knew she was going to do it because he doesn’t act surprised by it. Instead he grabs her waist, pulling her into his chest. Clarke gasps at the feeling of his hands, making him growl and kiss her harder.

They break only to come up for air, both with big, goofy smiles lighting their faces. Once Clarke catches her breath, she leans up to kiss him again, but Bellamy moves out of her way and just kisses her cheek.

"Sorry, princess, I’ve got to go save the world now and I cant be distracted by the thought of kissing you."

Clarke just rolls her eyes.

"But, hey, when I come out of this alive, I swear you can kiss me anytime you want."

"Deal."

They were closer to the power plant than Clarke thought because it only takes about 20 minutes to get there after their stop. As the rover come to a stop in front of the power plant, Clarke is ready to puke. They get out of the rover, meeting in front of it for one last hug. Bellamy cuts it short, knowing he can’t let himself get caught up in her warmth.

"Bellamy, please be careful."

"Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere."

The group chose to save this power plant for last. It was the oldest one, making it the harder one to shut down. The control room was about 50 ft underground. The reason that this mission was so dangerous was that the only way to stop the plant from running, was to blow the entire thing up. This is where Bellamy comes in. Raven found old maps of the plant and drew out for Bellamy to place the bombs. The only problem was, he might not have enough time to get out.

Raven tried everything to set up a way in which Bellamy could get out safely, but she couldn’t. The only way she could figure out how to get this to work was with a timer that was set up through the control system of the plant. Thus, giving him only 15 minutes to set up each bomb in the correct places all over the gigantic power plant. Bellamy is fast, but from Ravens calculations, he might not be fast enough.

Clarke doesn’t know how long its been before the rover with Kane, Raven, and Miller shows up.

"How long has he been in there?", Kane asks with a worried tone.

"I don’t know, but it seems like forever."

Miller, with a sad expression, adds, "We should get moving. We don’t want to be this close when the bombs go off."

Bellamy knows he is running out of time. He knows that he spent too much time in the control room, making sure that Raven’s map corresponded with the one in there. It did.

Raven had given Bellamy a walkie talkie this morning in case he needed help with directions. It was a big place and had many halls, making it easy to get lost. The group was all just standing there, except Clarke who was pacing back and forth, when they heard Bellamy’s voice through the walkie.

"Raven, you there?"

"Yeah, I’m here. Are you ok? Is something wrong?"

"Can- can you put Clarke on?"

Clarke yanks the walkie out of Ravens hands.

"Bellamy, what’s going on?"

"Listen, Clarke, I’m not going to make it out of here. But just know that I love you."

"Bellamy, don’t say that! Don’t give up, you promised you would fight."

"Hey, hey, I’m not giving up. Its just that the timers almost out and I can only run so fast."

Clarke drops the walkie and starts sprinting in the direction of the power plant. She doesn’t get far before it explodes.

Clarke is numb. Her knees buckle and she falls hard to the ground. She lets out a small gasp, then begins to come undone. She can’t breath. The tears are pouring from her eyes. She feels like her heart has just been ripped from her chest.

The next thing Clarke remembers is Miller picking her up and putting her in the back of the rover. She was still crying uncontrollably. Raven was in the back with her, holding her in a tight hug.

Kane tells them to wait as he goes to check the wreckage for Bellamy. He comes back after 30 minutes with tears streaming down his face. This is when Miller and Raven lose their control. Miller punches the inside door of the rover, then places his face in his hands as he begins to sob. Raven, on the other hand, is still with Clarke and doesn’t want to upset her more, she just lets her tears fall down her face, landing in Clarke’s hair.

No one talks on the way home. What is there to say? They had all just lost one of the most important people in their lives. Kane lost a son. Miller and Raven lost a best friend. Clarke lost her best friend and the love of her life.

When they finally get back to Arkadia, Octavia is there. She’s been in and out for the last couple months, leaving without even looking or speaking to Bellamy. When Clarke sees Octavia standing in the hanger waiting for them, she sees red. She jumps out of the back of the rover and gets right in Octavia’s face.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Where’s Bellamy?"

"I said, what are you doing here? You don’t belong here. You chose the grounders, so go be with them!"

Clarke knows that Bellamy wouldn’t want this, he wouldn’t want her to beat Octavia up for not being there, for not forgiving him sooner. But she can’t help that looking at his sister makes her skin crawl.

The next person to get of the rover was Miller. When Octavia saw the look on his face, she started shaking her head and screaming.

"No, no, no. He can’t be. He’s not."

Miller catches Octavia before she falls, but they slide down to the floor together. Octavia was rocking back and forth, letting out loud sobs.

Just as Kane and Raven were getting out of the rover, Jasper, Monty, and Harper were running through the hanger door. They weren’t expecting this scene. They all looked at each other, faces painted with disbelief, as the tears started to fall.

Clarke can’t be in here anymore. The sight of everyone else grieving Bellamy is making it harder for her not to break again. She is walking through the halls, headed towards her room. The next thing she knows is she’s standing inside of Bellamy’s room. She takes in the oddly clean living quarters and her heart aches. She slides onto the bed, laying her head on his pillow, curling into a ball. When her head hits the pillow, she is enveloped by Bellamy’s scent. She breaks. A loud sobs comes from her chest as her tears start to stain the pillow. She doesn’t know how much more she can take.

Three days later, they hold a memorial service for Bellamy Blake. Clarke has been numb since the bombs went off. The only thing she feels right now is anger. She’s mad that Bellamy went along with this stupid plan, mad that Raven, Kane, and Miller came up with said stupid plan, and mad that Octavia pushed her brother away and is acting like it never happened. She mad that she didn’t stop Bellamy from going in the plant that day, mad that she wasn’t with him, isn’t with him. But mostly she’s mad that he made her feel happiness again, all for it to be ripped violently from her once more.

The anger subsides after two weeks, but the pain is constant. Its like there’s this emptiness inside of her, one that feels bigger than previous ones. This one feels like it can’t be fixed. But if Clarke knows one thing, its how to deal with pain. She’s tried to hide it, to run away from it. It didn’t work. They only way she is going to get through this is to be honest with herself, to be honest to the pain.

The third week since Bellamy’s death is extremely rough. Clarke has been doing everything she can to take her mind off of it; nothing is working. She has been sleeping in Bellamy’s bed, soaking up the scent and committing it to memory. She knows that if she keeps sleeping here, the scent will eventually be taken over by hers, but she can’t help herself. She misses him so much and this is the only thing that helps.

It has been three weeks and four days since the power plant. Clarke is walking around the inside perimeter or Arkadia when she sees a horse. Horses mean grounders. Clarke is in no mood for another war to break out between Trikru and Skaikru. She has been through so much in the past couple weeks that this is going to push her over her breaking point. She tells the guards to open the gate.

When the gates open, the horse strides right into Arkadia. The guards all grab their guns and start to point it at the rider. Octavia, who hasn’t left camp since she heard the news of her brothers death, starts yelling at them.

"Hey, put your guns down. Stop pointing those things at them."

As the guards lower their guns, the rider slides off the horse. He pulls off the mask he was wearing.

 _Bellamy Blake_.

Clarke almost passes out from the sight of him. How is he here? Is this actually him? Is she hallucinating again?

Once Clarke’s head stops spinning she sees Bellamy and Octavia, crying and hugging each other.

"Bellamy, how are you alive?"

"I was pretty messed up after the explosion, but a group of travelers heard it and came to see what happened. They found me buried underneath a shit ton of stuff. I was almost to the exit when the bombs went off, which gave me the upper hand. But these people took care of me, healing me and giving me a horse to get back home."

"We thought yo-"

Bellamy cuts Octavia off mid-sentence when he catches the blonde hair in the corner of his eye. He turns to see Clarke, the shocked expression still plastered on her face. He sighs when he sees her, a smile lighting up his entire face.

"So, how about that kiss?"


End file.
